“What is love? I thought I was living love for 16 years, as a daughter, wife, and mother. I am on empty and my children are too. God please help me! I don’t know what love is and how to love.” These are the words I spoke to God as I knelt at my bedside, after the finality of my divorce in 1986. My life and dreams were completely shattered, as well as my identity and self-esteem. After living a life full of worldly things, people, and helping others according to my own will, all that came to a stop. Now my life was filled with constant activity, sixteen hours a day, of single mothering.
When you ask God what love is...watch out! He is love, which is compassion and mercy. After my prayer to God in 1987, He sent me to Medjugorje, Yugoslavia, where apparitions of Mother Mary have been reported since 1981. The purpose of God sending me there was the beginning of letting go of fear, and to learn unconditional trust, obedience to God’s will, and prayer. I did not want to go to a Communist country, fly over the ocean, or leave my children unsupervised. But I had to say “yes” to all that. And as I did, the journey to my new life began. After coming home, God put me in a spiritual growth and healing program for two years. I also did a lot of crying during this time… tears of healing from the Holy Spirit. Then came youth ministry work, being part of the Catholic Council of Women in our deanery, work in a rehab facility for the mentally ill, and work in a Franciscan soup kitchen ministry. He called me in the middle of all this to become an Apostle of Divine Mercy in Stockbridge, Mass., (at the National Shrine of The Divine Mercy) to bring the message of Divine Mercy out to the world. “What? Me?” I asked. He specifically called me to live God’s Mercy with all people, even those who have hurt or abused me in any way. Each day and each person is a mission of mercy, and with God’s grace and guidance His love can flow through me to others for their physical or spiritual needs. Our life and journey is to love as God loves, and only He can teach us this love and heal us of our wounds (which we all have). Are you willing to let go of your interpretation of love and allow God to show you how to love as He loves?
“Be not afraid!” --Saint John Paul II
“He who trusts in the Lord, loving Mercy surrounds him.” Psalm 32:10